February 16, 2022

Landmines: Communication Breakdown

Do This: 

Communication Exercise - Choose one child to be the speaker and one adult to be the listener. Without letting the listener see, give the speaker a picture of geometric shapes. The listener will need a pencil and sheet of paper. Next, the speaker needs to describe the picture to the listener, who will attempt to draw the shape. The listener is not allowed to speak. Once the listener has finished drawing, compare the attempt to the original picture. The purpose of this activity is to stress the value of clear two-way communication.

Say This: 

Let’s talk about communication. Anytime someone is trying to communicate, there is what’s being said by the speaker and what’s being heard by the listener. Who’s responsible for making sure what's being said is understood?

Read This: 

Proverbs 18:13 teaches, “To answer before listening— that is folly and shame.”

Ask This: 

What does it mean to “answer before listening”? Do we do this in our family? If you’re the one speaking, how does this make you feel? If someone is always speaking before listening, who are they really thinking about most?

Read This: 

Proverbs 18:2 makes this point: “Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.”

Watch This:

Ask This: 

What was happening in this clip? (The man wasn’t trying to understand. He just wanted to fix the problem.) How did it make the woman feel?

Say This: 

If we want better communication, we need to work on being better listeners. When we’re better listeners, people feel like we really care about them and what they have to say. This helps build trust within our family relationships. We all begin to feel like each person cares for each person.

Ask This: 

How does this build trust? How does stronger trust make us a better family? What does it take to lose trust? What are some actions we can take to grow trust in our family? 

Do This: 

Have a “Talk Session.” This is where you ask some questions that go beneath the surface and allow your family to open us and build trust. All you’re going to do is ask questions and let each person answer. Be ready to facilitate and make sure no one interrupts and that everyone at the table feels heard…really heard.

  • What do you pray for most often?
  • When you get to heaven, what are some questions you hope to ask God?
  • When was a time in life you felt most alone?
  • At what times in your life have you felt closest to God, or when do you feel closest to God now?
  • What kind of friend do you need? What could I do, practically speaking, to be a truer friend to you?

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