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The holidays are a time of joy and celebration, but can also cause stress and tension, especially within our families. Time with family can sometimes lead to unrealistic expectations, hurt feelings, and differences in opinion or disagreements that can leave us feeling disappointed, anxious, and frustrated. How do we navigate these challenges while staying true to our faith and reflecting Christ’s love?
1. We Must Remember Our Family Ties (Read Proverbs 11:29, 1 Timothy 5:8)
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We must always remember the importance of our family bonds. Families are a gift given to us by God, and those bonds are precious to Him. Proverbs 11:29 reminds us of the importance of growing and preserving family relationships. Whether or not we feel close to family members, or whether tension exists between us, we must honor the foundational ties that God has established.
1 Timothy 5:8 is even more direct. While this verse primarily refers to material provision, it extends to emotional and relational care as well. During the holidays, it’s easy to forget that love and respect for family members is not optional…it is a command. We may be tempted to withdraw, avoid, or retreat from family, but we are called to invest in these relationships, remembering that they are part of God’s plan for us.
Ask This:
What is one of your favorite family traditions that we have around Thanksgiving or Christmas?
What is one way that our family is unique or special?
2. We Must Make Family Tries (Read Romans 12:17-18)
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We must always make every effort to make peace, even when disagreements arise. Notice the qualifications of Romans 12:17-18: “if it is possible” and “as far as it depends on you.” Not all conflicts can be resolved easily, but we are still responsible for doing everything in our power to bring about peace.
During the holidays, emotions run high, and old wounds often resurface. If there is conflict, it’s important to approach the situation with a mindset of resolving our issues. We may not be able to change the other person, but we can change our attitude and approach. The Bible calls us to be peacemakers (Matthew 5:9), not peacekeepers. Peacemakers actively seek resolution and understanding.
To make “family tries” means to actively work towards reconciliation and peace. It might involve having difficult conversations, apologizing for past mistakes, or simply listening with grace and patience. Even small gestures of kindness can go a long way in healing or strengthening a relationship.
Ask This:
What are some “family tries” that we could do during the holidays to help our family get along?
3. We Must Accept Family Cries (Read Colossians 3:13)
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Belonging to a family means walking together through the good times and bad. No person, or family is perfect, and we will all face times of struggle and disappointment. There will be times of laughter, and times of tears. Colossians 3:13 calls us to “bear with each other and forgive one another…” Accepting “family cries” means showing compassion for the emotional pain that others may be carrying. We all have brokenness—some visible, some hidden. Instead of reacting in anger or defensiveness, we are called to respond with patience and understanding. We don’t have to have all the answers, but we can listen and offer a forgiving spirit.
The holidays are a beautiful time for families, but they can also be a time of tension and difficulty. During the holidays, we must remember our family ties, make family tries, and accept family cries. By doing so, we reflect the love and grace of Christ to those who need it most. Our families may not be perfect, but with God’s help, we can build stronger, more compassionate relationships, rooted in His love.
Ask This:
What is one situation or person in our family that we should be more faithful to pray for? Are there any steps that we should take to show greater love to a member of our family?
Things we should do for our family:
- Pray to Christ for them
- Model Christ to them
- Share Christ with them
Pray This:
Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of family. During this holiday season, help us to remember the importance of our family ties and to invest in these relationships with love and care. Grant us the wisdom to seek peace and reconciliation, and the humility to accept the cries of those who are hurting. Most of all, teach us to forgive as You have forgiven us. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Final Thoughts:
A research study done by the University of Nebraska focused on human development and families. Data was taken from over 25 countries and thousands of families and it was discovered that strong families have 6 common core traits.
- Appreciation and affection: They express their love for one another, and speak in encouraging and positive ways that validate the other’s feelings.
- Strong commitment to each other: They are committed to ensuring the happiness and welfare of those in their family by investing energy and time in family activities.
- Spend enjoyable time together: They enjoy being in each other’s company. Time together is planned and prioritized. Time is such a precious commodity in today’s world, and there never seems to be enough – but strong families will dare to “waste” their time on each other.
- Manage stress and crisis effectively: Just like any family they will face difficult circumstances and trials, but in hard times they come together and develop strategies to overcome.
- Sense of spiritual well-being: They are bound together by core principles and consistent lifestyle practices that guide their values and ethics. They may be brought closer together by important causes or work in their community.
- Effective and positive communication patterns: They communicate in respectful, kind, and loving ways. They allow space and time to listen and talk to each other.