Landmines: No Direction

Say This

I’m going to show a video clip from a movie that came out when I was a kid. It’s about a group of kids who are on a treasure hunt. What is the most important item you need for a treasure hunt? [Map]

Watch This

Ask This

Why is it important to have a map for a treasure hunt? (It tells us where to find the treasure.)

Say This

The map gives us directions to what we’re trying to find. When I think about our family, I believe we have a very special treasure. God created our family not just so we can live in the same house and spend time together. I believe God wants our family to do something special for His Kingdom.

Ask/Discuss This

What are some things about our family that make us unique or different from other families? (Keep digging on this. Use phrases like, “What else?”, “Keep it going.”, “Tell us more.” (Ask the oldest child to write these down or your bride.)

Say/Discuss This

Let’s look at the things we wrote down and see if we can combine some that mean the same thing. (You’re trying to reduce the list a little, to just a few words…maybe 3-7.) 

Ask/Discuss This

Let’s dream a little bit. What are some things you wished we did as a family? Ask the next oldest child to write these or your bride. (Note: You’re not looking for trips or activities. This is about attributes like the first list that are not listed. For example, “spend time together other than dinner…”)

Say This

These two lists define who we are and what we want to become. They are called our Family Values. They are what God has placed in us to make our family different from other families. We’re not better, but when we know what these are, they give us direction, like the treasure map.

Do This

Read Proverbs 29:18a (just the first sentence)

Ask This

What is a vision? [A vision is a picture of what we want to become.] Choose one child to remember that definition.

Say This

(Depending on your translation, the verse may end with, “...the people perish.”) When we hear the word, “perish,” we tend to think it means that things don’t end well. When you look at the original language for this word, you discover that it really means, “to run free without restraint.” Choose another child to remember that definition.

Do This

Restate the Proverbs 29:18, but in place of “vision,” let the first child say the phrase they were told to remember and instead of “perish,” let the second child say the phrase they were told to remember. You should end up with, “Where there is no picture of what we want to become, the people will run free without restraint.”

Say This

In other words, without a vision for what we want our family to become, we will not have any direction. And without direction, our family cannot be the treasure God created us to become.

Do This

Every family (and organization) needs a Rallying Cry…a word that when it is said or heard, everyone in the family knows what it means (think Braveheart and “Freedom”). What is the Rally Cry for your family? Look at the list of Family Values and guide your family in a discussion to see if you can determine one word that encompasses all of them. Bonus Points for getting it in print and posted in the house somewhere.

For Dad…

Do you have a vision for your life?

• Begins by looking inward… Knowing yourself so you can lead yourself.
• Seeking and yielding to the Holy Spirit working in our hearts will help identify lies we currently believe.
• As we search, God will use our passion, propensities, and pains to give us direction.
• This process begins with focused prayer: “God, how have you wired me?”, “God, who am I called to become?”

“Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.' - Luke 14:27-30

Do you have a “Just Cause,”

An affirmative belief in a future state that does not yet exist that I will commit my resources/business/life to help build.

Three Tests for a Sound Vision for Your Life:

1. Is it ____________________?
   1. Can it withstand change?
2. Is it ____________________?
   1. Does it invite others, regardless of their role, who believe what you believe?
3. Is it ____________________ Oriented?
   1. Does it primarily benefit you or those you lead and serve?