Watch This
[Note: There are a few Bible verses to read. We suggest reading these ahead of time so you can give a little explanation to younger children.]
Ask This
Why was the lady frustrated with the man? Why was the man frustrated with the lady?
Ask This
Have you ever felt misunderstood or unheard in our family? Who can think of a time when you tried to share something but other people in our family misunderstood and did something totally opposite from what you expected?
Say This
Good communication is not as easy as just talking. It demands work on the person speaking and the person listening.
Do This
Grab a sheet of paper and marker and write the responses to the following questions. Treat this like a team-building activity where everyone needs to share and participate to build these two lists.
Ask This
If you are the person speaking, what are some things you can do to help other people really understand what you’re saying? [Write responses. Listen for: slow down, let people finish what they are doing first, think about how they like to listen (quick and easy or likes a good story, etc.]
Ask This
If you are the person listening, what are some things you can do to be a better listener? [Write responses. Listen for: put down devices, listen with your eyes, don’t interrupt, etc.]
Say This
OK, let’s each share one thing we appreciate about how communication works in our family. Remember to listen carefully.
Say This
Did you know the Bible has much to say about communication? [Assign these verses to your children who can read: Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 18:21, James 1:19, Proverbs 15:1, Proverb 26:19] For each one ask: “How does this verse guide us in how we should communicate with each other?”
Say This
We need to be a family who seeks to build each other up with our words and not tear each other down. We need to be “Life-Speakers.”
Ask This
What do you think other people will think when they see us speaking life into each other? What would they say if we put each other down?
Say This
One way we can improve our communication is to learn to let others know the goal of our communication before we communicate. A lot of misunderstandings are from one person expecting a particular response and gets something very different. It helps when we say a code word before we ask a question or share something.
Do This
Let’s practice. One of our code words can be “Celebrate.” Let’s all share something we can celebrate in our family or a family member’s life. I’ll go first. (Dad: Say, “I want celebrate [name] for [what they did that needs to be celebrated.]” Go around the table and let everyone participate.
Say This
Another code word can be “Care.” Just like the video we watched, sometimes we just want people to listen to us and not try and fix our problem. So we would just say, “I need to share something and I just need you to care and listen.”
Do This
Let’s practice saying that. Go around the table and let everyone repeat that phrase, one person at a time.
Say This
The point of all of this is if we want to improve our communication as a family, we need to work on it with focus. It’s not going to get better by accident. We have to be intentional and go the extra step for everyone to feel like we are truly listening and trying to understand so we can help each other.
Pray This
Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of communication. Help us use our words wisely to build each other up and strengthen our family bonds. Guide us in listening well and speaking with love. Amen.